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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
newtypezaku

Char’s Return (1988)

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Literal months ago, I thought to myself, you know, I probably can’t read Japanese now, but I might be able to someday, so I may as well pick up some old-ass books while I can. And it turns out that with the gracious assistance of Google-sensei and the willingness to sink most of my free time into choking on kanji… I can eventually kind of read! I’ll admit, I was positively giddy when I realized that I didn’t have to consciously process the characters that make up the phrase “people whose souls are held back by gravity” anymore.

This is Char’s Return, a gamebook published by Keibunsha in 1988 that mixes elements of a single-player RPG and a “Choose Your Own Adventure” story. You’re Char, trying to organize scattered Neo Zeon remnants into something approximating a fighting force. Along the way, you pick up a lady friend who dies tragically because duh, fight former allies, and build the determination necessary to (Marvin the Martian voice) blow up the Earth.

I haven’t properly played the game, but I did try to build a tree representing every possible path, so what follows below the cut is a general summary of what happens.

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I was playing samurai shodown 5, and I was getting concerned because the up and down buttons weren’t working.

Turns out when I was remapping attack Combo buttons, I had accidentally completely remapped the up and down buttons to not be connected to any button on the controller.

Yeah that explains why I couldn’t jump or use most of the character select screen.

samurai shodown